No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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