If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
