The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize