The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
