He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just forgot I was standing up.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
