he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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