captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Less talking, more tequila
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize