Pappa wants mamma naked
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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