he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
