How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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