what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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