Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
