He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
