K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
