8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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