Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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