is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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