ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
