And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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