Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
