sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Less talking, more tequila
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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