She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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