Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so let's talk penis.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
