I wish my penis had an off switch
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
