he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
and she was petting her beer can
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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