do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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