:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
