I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize