I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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