I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize