He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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