I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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