I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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