You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize