I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
