Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
