i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
