I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You took a bar mat shot.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
