Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
