if you like me you must not know who I am
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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