She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
