What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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