She is in my trunk
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
