Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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