i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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