I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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