my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
