I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
