I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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