Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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