Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
