p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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