Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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