their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
