There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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