I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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