The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
