all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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