Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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