Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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