i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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