I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
