shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
