Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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