currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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