I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
