i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
not ubering you a puppy
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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