i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
