By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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