If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize